The Death of Metaphors

Something terrible is occuring to the English language... it's not the excessive destruction grammar, or the plague of tpin lik tis, it's the DEATH OF METAPHORS. When's the last time you heard somebody say "as dead as a duck"? Or "as mad as a Queenslander"? A while ago, I'd say. Now people just say "dead" or "really dead", or even worse "like... dead".
Now to be fair, there's a reason for this. It's the increased globalization of English. When I'm speaking to people across the globe, they haven't the faintest clue what I'm saying if I say "madder than cut snakes.". But still, metaphors are wonderful things. They add color to language. Next time you would say "really (adjective)", why don't you instead say "as (adjective) as (noun)"?


Protect our language! Join the Metaphor Protection Society today!